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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Cleaned up my art & craft supply cabinet over the weekend. There were three color palettes covered with layers of acrylic paint. For a long time, whenever I saw these, I had felt like throwing them away as they appeared to be useless and beyond saving. However, this time around, I took a small screwdriver and prodded the dried paint.. et voilà! It peeled off, just like a sticker, leaving behind clean grooves! It was hard work at times but worth making the effort.

While peeling the paint, I started thinking about the parallels with human beings. Whether as leaders in our organizations or as individuals in our personal lives, we meet and work with people who appear to be ‘lost causes’. Those whom everybody has given up on. However, with focused attention, right strategies, appropriate tools, and continued support, these individuals have the potential to shine. This is one of the key responsibilities of a leader.

The experience also had me thinking about how things (and even people) may appear ugly at times but with love, care and attention, their true beauty re-emerges from under the unpleasant exterior. This was a much-needed reminder. As I work with junior team members, many a times my impatience gets the best of me. Even though I keep reminding myself to be more patient, sometimes stress takes its toll.

Happy to have had this opportunity to unwind and learn during the process😊

before

after

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Chitral, Pakistan

“The warrior of the light sometimes behaves like water, flowing around the many obstacles he encounters.

At certain times, resistance means to be destroyed. At such times, he adapts to circumstances. He accepts, without complaint, that the rocks along the way forge his path down the mountains.

Such is the force of water: it can never be broken by a hammer, or wounded by a knife. The most powerful sword in the world is incapable of leaving a scar on its surface.

The water of a river adapts to the path which is possible, without forgetting its objective: the sea. Fragile at its spring, it gradually acquires the strength of the other rivers it encounters.

And, after a while, its power is absolute.”

From Paulo Coelho‘s blog

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Feelings

Been thinking of how I feel or have been feeling recently. Drapetomaina.. this word describes how I feel. The COVID-19 pandemic and the travel restrictions that followed, along with the increasing number of distress cases that I’ve had to manage, have taken their toll. I miss my travel. I miss my me time. I miss being alone, in my own zone, away from everyone and everything. Loss of interest in things I enjoy – check. Not feeling like talking to anyone at all – check. Sick of having people around me all the time – check. Being in high alert mode 24×7 – check. Feeling confined in my environment when I’d like to roam around the world – check. Losing in interest in what I do – check. Not feeling like looking at my phone at all – check. I know what it is and where it’s going. The question is: what am I going to do about it. Or, whether or not I’m going to do anything about it.

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One of my friends shared an article by Eileen McDargh on how to move from burnout to breakthrough. In addition to it being very relevant and easy-to-understand, the article comes with a GIVEAWAY!

Leave a comment on Eileen’s post at the Leadership Freak website to become eligible for one of the 20 complimentary copies of her new book, Burnout to Breakthrough: Building Resilience to Refuel, Recharge, and Reclaim What Matters. Deadline for eligibility is Aug 9, 2020. International winners will receive electronic versions. Happy reading!

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Unpredictable. Or maybe not. A prayer answered; followed by a sudden episode of sickness. Not getting appointments; not knowing for sure what’s going on; getting anxious as hell; finally visiting the doctors – one after another; lots of antibiotics with minimal food; feeling lousy; crying; hopelessness at times; some of the issues getting better (finally); other still not figured out. It’s the not-knowing that bugs me the most. I need to know. Once the cause of pain is identified, one can work on the recovery. What have I learned. That every morsel that we eat is a blessing. You realize it when you don’t feel like eating or can’t eat normal food. That you have to take the recovery slowly. Give the body enough time to heal. Don’t rush things. Remind yourself about it. It helps you gain perspective on what is and isn’t important in life. Some fights look absolutely ridiculous once you gain perspective on what is actually important. Your health & well-being (physical & mental), your loved ones, your support network, the small blessings that we take for granted without even realizing. As my very dear friend, SS, said: This too shall pass. Yes, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. (amen)

For anyone who is going through a tough period or whose loved ones are in a bad place, may you be blessed with the strength to come out of your situation as stronger persons. May the Lord bless you with tranquility, health, joy, and peace of mind & soul – always & forever (amen).

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It’s been quite some time since I posted here. Not that I didn’t have anything to post about.. just that I was too lazy or didn’t have the energy or the inspiration to write. A lot has happened over the past few months. Many items checked off my bucket list. Some life-changing experiences. Since last Saturday, I’ve been under a lot of stress on personal front. Fortunately, my family and friends are there so I’m not alone. Was OK yesterday but am anxious again today. Somehow, this afternoon I started singing Walk on Water by Eminem. This song is so close to my heart. I sing it when I’m happy or inspired.. and when I’m worried or anxious or really scared.. Right now is such a time and this song continues to help. It’s one of the most beautiful and most vulnerable songs (if that’s grammatically correct) I’ve ever heard. Most of the times, when I hear it, it makes me cry. I don’t understand the hate this song received (and continues to receive) from many people. Who would hate such an honest and open song? A fellow human being is baring his soul to us and we reciprocate with hatred? Why? Because it does not have a beat or does not fit our template for what a song should sound like? I don’t understand all this. I don’t understand people. I just know that from the first time I listened to it I fell in love with this song. I made sure that I memorize it so I can sing along.

So, this song I dedicate to all those who may be going through tough times and need a helping hand but don’t have anyone around.. or who do not have the courage to reach out fearing it will make them look vulnerable. Know that you’re not alone.. and that you don’t have to deal with life all alone. It is OK to be vulnerable. It is OK to let people know that you’re not as strong as they may think you are. There are people in this world who are there to lend a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on. Just reach out. I did. And have never regretted it.

P.S. To Em: I hope you know how much your music affects people like me. Whenever I want to go away, I lose myself in your music. It’s something that helps me be at peace. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤

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I read about this book in another book and am so glad I added it to my reading list. What an interesting and engaging book it is! The author was a psychiatrist who was at the Auschwitz camp with other prisoners. Being in such a horrible place, he could’ve lost hope but he didn’t and, instead, used his skills to help other prisoners. His reflections from that time give you chills. This is a must-read for those who are interested in the bigger question about life.

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“The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau.” (Dan Rather)

To me, every person who has inspired me to acquire a part of them is a role model. I have met a lot of such people in my life. Memories of some of them have become hazy while others are imprinted on my soul. Ms. R. Fikree is one such imprint.

Who is Ms. Fikree? When I close my eyes and go back to my primary school days, I see someone walking toward an exquisite, red Toyota Corolla, which is parked under the shady neem tree. I see a petite lady with a persona that is hard to describe in words. Excellent figure that gave a hint to a perfectly healthy routine; lovely, short hair set in different layers; beautiful eyes behind her glasses that went well with her lovely face; and a perfect posture showing self-confidence. She used to teach secondary classes in the morning shift while I was studying in the afternoon shift. Days turned into years and came the day when I transferred to the morning shift.

My formal interaction with Ms. Fikree didn’t start until I was promoted to the 10th grade. I couldn’t wait to be in her English language class. She was just as I had imagined her – kind and caring. The persona did not disappear with the personal interaction. Instead, it grew stronger. I remember observing her intently during the class. The way she talked, the way she walked, the way she held the book, the way she turned the pages of the book, and the way she explained the meanings of different words. It was magical!

Ms. Fikree had her own style of teaching. She always spoke in a soft tone. I never heard her shout in the class, not even when she needed the students to stop talking and pay attention to her. She used to read a chapter from the book, writing the meanings of new words on the blackboard and explaining the grammatical structures. I also remember doing grammar exercises in her class. She would explain a sentence and then ask the students about the remaining ones. She made sure that we understood the concepts we were studying, careful enough not to spoon-feed us while giving us a push in the right direction.

During her class, we learnt not only about the English language but also about the different things we read about. She kindled my interest in the English language and literature, especially English poetry. I remember her transporting me to the English fields full of daffodils. Through the poem “The Voice of God” she helped me find a path to self-realization. From the trip to the mango orchard to the conversation between the rickshaw driver and his passenger, to the village fair and the glories of the Abbasid dynasty, she took me to the virtual tour of different places during each class.

It was so obvious that Ms. Fikree enjoyed teaching! I cannot recall a day when she was not there in the class. She made us feel at ease when we were with her. Our repetitive mistakes and silly questions did not seem to tire her. I never saw her getting angry at a student, not even when she caught one of them cheating in the exam. She did not believe in using harsh words for the students. The most important thing that I learnt from her was the meaning of the word “dedication”. She was a teacher par excellence. She always tried her best to provide us with enough information to quench our thirst but, at the same time, increasing our thirst for more. She also taught us about self-respect and respect for others.

During Ms. Fikree’s class, I learnt how to find alternative solutions to a problem. I remember, one day before our exams, there was going to be a special full-day transmission on the national TV channel (it was way before 24×7 channels). All of us were excited about it. The only problem was the tough exam scheduled on the next day.  Young minds are very productive in such situations. So, we ended up thinking ‘what if we could get some other exam rescheduled on that day’. Started the English language class and someone mentioned the exam. That was our cue. Everybody started talking about the TV programs and the cruel exam. I think Ms. Fikree knew what was coming. We asked her if the exam could be rescheduled and she agreed to it immediately. By listening to all of us and by appreciating and understanding our needs she taught us how to appreciate others. It is events like these that have shaped up the way I am. Ms. Fikree’s positive influence inspired me to become a positive person. Some people might find it trivial but to me she has always been an inspiration.

I had not met Ms. Fikree since the time we passed 10th grade. I wanted to see her again but some dreams remain dreams until one day (or night, in my case) you realize that those dreams must be turned into reality. That is why I decided to go to my school and get her contact number. The trigger behind this decision was an incident that took place 15 years ago. This event had a lasting impact on my life.

It was a usual day at school except that we had a test scheduled for Henry Longfellow’s poem titled “Children. I was not in a good shape. I had tried to go through the questions related to this poem but somehow all the ideas and questions related with it looked the same to me! Needless to say I scored badly; 4 out of 10 – what a shame! Even that wasn’t bad enough. The worst part was to listen to what Ms. Fikree said while handing me my test paper. She didn’t get angry at me or use any harsh words. I don’t even remember her exact words but I remember that she was disappointed in me. I wanted to tell her about the reason for my bad performance and that disappointing her would be the last thing I could ever think of doing in this lifetime. But I couldn’t. I just sat down without saying anything. Maybe I thought that she wouldn’t find it a good enough reason for such a low score. Maybe I wasn’t satisfied with the reason myself. Or maybe the shame of being a source of disappointment to her didn’t let me speak. With just one simple sentence, she gave me the zeal to work harder and perform well in the future tests and the board exams. Despite the benefits of this experience, somewhere at the back of my mind the thought of not letting her know about the real reason kept pinching at me, until the day I finally decided to contact her. I asked her if I could visit her and succeeded in that. The day I met her again was a very special day. I got to know that she and I share the same alma mater. I had a chance to talk with her as a student and as a grownup. I told her about the things I had always wanted to tell her about and asked the questions that had been on my mind for so many years.

Some people think that the way a teacher can inspire their pupils is limited to what they teach in the class. Some talk about the importance of the way things are taught while others emphasize the things a teacher says. But, as Henry Brooks Adams put it, “a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” Even though, on an average, a teacher barely has a minute or so to spend on a student during class, they can still have a great impact on an individual’s life. To me, each and everything a teacher does or says is equally important; the way they dress up, the way they talk, walk, stand, sit, play and express their feelings – not only within the realm of the class but also outside it. My request to all the teachers: be conscious of your importance in a student’s life. With your words and actions you can serve as a true role model for hundreds of individuals, for you communicate with them even when you are not talking. Ms. Fikree has been a living example of that! Through my experiences with her I understood the importance of being able to speak up. I learnt how to plan for my tasks and to be ready for the consequences if I fail to have one. She taught me the meaning of appreciation – to let people know how special they are. And, above all, she taught me to believe in my dreams and work hard to turn them into reality.

My sincere advice to the young lot: love your teachers.  Know that sometime later in life, when you sit and think about your experiences, you’ll find tiny candles burning with great brilliance. The candles that have kept your soul illuminated through the darkest and the brightest periods of your life. And when you try to see the people holding those candles, you’ll most probably find a teacher’s face smiling back at you.

Blessed am I to have walked on the path where my teacher once walked.


Note: I wrote this piece over a decade ago. My feelings are still the same and my respect for Ms. Fikree has grown manyfold. Finding her number was a task in itself but meeting with her was a blessing! 

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Apr 20, 2008 – the day Eminem became clean from his addiction to prescription medication.

Em hasn’t looked back since then, and thank God for that! As he celebrates 10 years of sobriety today, my prayers, congratulations and best wishes are with him and his loved ones. He is sharper than ever as an MC (with his crazy lyricism, wordplay & word-bending, complex rhymes & flows, and superb vocal skills) and has grown so much as an artist and a human being. So happy to see him happy and enjoying his life with his loved ones. May he continue to remain sober and enjoy the best that life has to offer. He remains a true inspiration to the people going through difficult times in their lives.

What better way to celebrate this milestone than to listen to his music, especially the song Not Afraid off his 2010 album Recovery. Much respect and love for you, Em ❤ Stay strong; stay blessed!

If you or anyone you know are going through a tough time or trying to get rid of addiction, please reach out. You don’t have to battle the addiction alone, and can find a helping hand.

U.S.A. SAMHSA Helpline: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
U.K. NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/drugs/pages/drugtreatment.aspx
Pakistan: https://htv.com.pk/health/rehab-centers-in-pakistan

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Life & Lemons

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